Sasame's New Radio Show
by Dragonwiles
Summary: Sasame is well known for his radio show Sasame of Words Gate. What would happen if it were to change as he changes? Rated K for minor fantasy violence and bizarre chauffeurs. Okay, okay, in reality Mr. Tanaka had nothing to do with the rating.


Sasame is well known for his radio show Sasame of Words Gate. What would happen if it were to change as he changes? Rated K+ for minor fantasy violence and bizarre chauffeurs. Okay, okay, in reality Mr. Tanaka had nothing to do with the rating.

**Spoiler Warning!**

If you read this story, you'll gain information about a major plot twist! Don't read this story unless you're prepared to accept that eventuality!

Many people across the city turned in to hear the reinstatement of one of their favorite radio shows, Sasasme of Words Gate. They were surprised when he began his program with an unusual announcement. Sasame's voice poured out of thousands of speakers, producing these words:

"Good evening to everyone. I've just concluded talks with the studio, and we've all agreed on a major change in format to the show. From now on, it'll be called Sasame of Traitors Gate, and we'll be featuring a new, edgier tone."

"We have a letter here," Sasame continued with hardly a pause, "from a Miss Silkworm. She writes that she hates everyone because they don't pay enough attention to her and leave her to cope with horrible tragedies, like her father's death, all by herself. No one understands her, her pain and anguish which she keeps locked inside, or her disturbing obsession with Sasame. All of this has led her to decide to betray her family and try to hook up with an evil knight of sound."

Finished with reading the letter, Sasame proceeded to the main feature of his program: offering advice to those who wrote him letters. "Miss Silkworm, I think that what you're doing is exactly the right thing to do. I do have to warn you that the evil knight of sound is probably going to humiliatingly reject your love in order to destroy your warped, ingrown psyche. Rest assured that he's gone through exactly the same feelings of no one understanding his pain, and it's because of those feelings that he's going to dump you for his old girlfriend."

Sasame moved on to the next letter in his inbox. "Our next letter is from a first-time writer. She writes that she's enemies with a group of men she knew long ago. One of those men unexpectedly professed love for her and betrayed his fellows. Her plans for destroying the world are moving ahead full steam, but there's one thing she's now uncertain of. She wants to know if she should kill everyone in the world, including this traitor, or kill everyone except him, because he's the only person who will actually listen to her whining. Signed, Princess of Disaster."

Without hesitation, Sasame pronounced, "Princess of Disaster, you're exactly right in your plans to destroy the world, because you and your boyfriend are the only things that matter. Your will is the only thing that's important to me, and him, in whether or not you keep him alive. Do take into account in your decision that you're right: your boyfriend is the only person who can listen to your self-pity for any length of time."

The show broke for a commercial, and the guest for the second segment was escorted into the studio. Sasame greeted his guest. When his show was back on the air, he said, "Tonight, we're starting a new feature: the personal feelings of people who have been betrayed. I've asked local author Ms. Yayoi Takato, our guest in the studio, to tell us of a chauffeur's betrayed love."

Yayoi Takato perkily stated, "Thank you very much for having me on your program."

"It's my pleasure," Sasame returned the compliment. "You said that this story began in high school."

"Yes," Ms. Takato agreed dramatically, "there was a young man who grew up with a local millionaire heiress, and loved her from afar, but it was not to be - she married a poor artist instead!"

Mr. Tanaka, listening to Sasame's program while driving to pick up Mrs. Awayuki at work, yelped, "Oh no! It's that girl! She's spreading that awful story about me again!" He abruptly changed course, several hairs falling off his balding head.

"...and so now," Ms. Takato concluded her woeful tale, which she thought was a marvelous drama, "he is forced to drive his true love around town while she kisses another man." A loud knocking on the studio door announced Mr. Tanaka's presence, but he was ignored by Sasame while the staff tried to clear him away. Sasame spoke into the microphone, "Thank you very much, Ms. Yayoi Takato. When we come back, hear how betrayal strikes on the culinary front with-"

"I've got to do tell everyone!" Mr. Tanaka shouted as he suddenly broke through the studio door. He grabbed the microphone and shouted into it. "Everyone! Everyone!" He rapidly said in a loud voice, "You're all listening, right, OK, yes everyone? I just wanted to make totally clear that the story does not in any way, manner, or form relate to myself or my employer Mrs. Awayuki!"

He released the microphone and glared at Yayoi Takato. "And you assured me that you'd leave out enough details so the characters would remain anonymous!"

Mr. Tanaka and Ms. Takato stalked out of the studio, the chauffeur gesticulating wildly and Ms. Takato not quite certain why he was so angry.

The show broke for a commercial, and the guest for the third segment was escorted into the studio. Sasame greeted his guest. When his show was back on the air, he said, "We're continuing our focus on the personal feelings of people who have been betrayed. Local waiter Go is our guest in the studio. Go, please tell us about how you were betrayed."

"Sure, I'll tell them!" Go shouted. "I'll tell everyone how you betrayed us all, Sasame! Order this demon larva to release me and I'll show you what I do with traitors!"

"I understand your feelings," Sasame nodded, "you must've been betrayed by someone that you knew very well. How did that make you feel?"

"It made me feel mad of course, Sasame! Why I ought to-" Go struggled against the tentacles of the demon larva, but he was held firmly and rendered immobile. Without the Prétear, he couldn't fight this nearly full-grown demon larva.

"Thank you for sharing that with us, Go," Sasame nodded. "That's all the time we have tonight, but be sure to tune in to our next broadcast, when our guest will be Kikyo fresh from her debut on 'Cooking with Urasue.'"

"Water Flail!" the Prétear shouted as she bounded into the room and smashed the the demon larva's tentacles. Go extricated himself as the tentacles collapsed into uselessness.

The unperturbed Sasame concluded the broadcast with the sentence, "Kikyo is the author of the books, 'Die, Inuyasha!' and 'The Care and Feeding of Soul Collectors.' Join us as she recounts fifty years of being betrayed and betraying in turn."

"Go, are you all right?" the Prétear asked.

"I'll be fine once I get my hands on Sasame-" he began, but stopped, seeing that Sasame had teleported away.

* * *

I'd like to thank the authors of the Wikipedia article "Prétear" entry for reminding me of some characters' names. I'd also like to thank W3Schools for its "HTML 4.01 Entities Reference" informing me that in HTML one can form an acute accent mark on an e by typing an ampersand, immediately followed by eacute immediately followed by a semicolon. 


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